Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
