Your tits are I can't wait for
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
