when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
