Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
