i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
