I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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