I'm really into asian looking animals
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
