We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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