After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
