i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
