Your tits are I can't wait for
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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