But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My liver just broke up with me...
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
