i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
