Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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