her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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