Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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