dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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