He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize