Umm I'm too high to move.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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