my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
