when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
