I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Randomize
