It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
