No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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