our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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