There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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