You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
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