Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
