After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
