I don't remember. Are we still dating?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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