Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
