No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
All I want is dick and wine.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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