I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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