You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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