Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
