wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
