How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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