Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
