i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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