Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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