we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
