see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
