There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
