im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
