ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
