you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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