Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
If I die, sorry about rent.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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