Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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