Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
