i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I had to cum in my sink.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
