do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
