I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
