Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
