So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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