I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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