using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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