also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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