We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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