dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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