I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
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